Montreal, Day One

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What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think of Montreal? For me, it’s poutine, of course. Warm, gooey, cheesy, potatoey perfection on a plate. I was on a mission to try my first real Canadian poutine, and visions of cheese curds and gravy filled my mind en route to Quebec last fall. I was taking a mini-trip with my Canadian boo Nishan, and was determined to eat my way through Montreal.

I arrived late at night and we quickly checked in to Le Petit Hotel, a cute boutique hotel and cafe along Old Montreal’s cobblestone streets. Then it was off to dinner at Barroco, a dimly-lit Spanish restaurant with good dose of local Quebecois influence.

Foie gras & "coffee"

We started with the foie gras and “coffee,” which was really a thick slab of coffee-infused foie and syrup served alongside a light salad. Smart move on the greens, which helped cut through the foie gras’ super rich texture.

Suckling pig chorizo

Next we shared a plate of suckling pig chorizo, which came with pickled vegetables and toasted baguette. The chorizo was incredibly flavored and paired so well with the acidic pickles. Score one for Quebec-style Spanish cuisine.

We woke up early the next morning to check out the neighborhood, and stumbled into Olive & Gourmando, a wildly popular brunch cafe in Old Montreal. After braving the lines and the French menu, we were seated. The fashionable crowd, indie tunes and beautiful wood furniture quickly made this one of my favorite places to eat in Montreal, and this was before the food even arrived.

Truffle mac and cheese with green salad

I had the truffle mac and cheese with a green salad for brunch, and Internet, this is without doubt the best mac and cheese on earth. I’m pretty sure nothing will come close to this and despite my efforts to replicate the dish at home, I’m still yearning for Olive & Gourmando’s version. Perfectly toasty on top and generous with the truffles, this gooey mac and cheese was perfect. The heavily herbed salad was a nice counterpart, but man oh man was that mac and cheese good.

Notre-Dame Basilica

We continued our morning in Old Montreal, arriving at the Notre-Dame Basilica next. The 19th-century church’s gothic interior reveals stained glass windows that depict the religious history of Montreal, and a gorgeous, deep blue and gold ceiling. Color is at the forefront in this church, and it’s one of the most beautiful and imposing I’ve ever visited.

We left Old Montreal in search of Marche Atwater, a popular farmers market in the Saint-Henri neighborhood. I suppose November isn’t the best time to visit a farmers market in Quebec, but Marche Atwater made up with meats what it lacked in produce.

Mary, Queen of the World Cathedral

It was off to another church next, so we took the metro over to Mary, Queen of the World Cathedral in downtown. Also a 19th-century basilica but not quite as huge as the Notre-Dame Basilica, this is Quebec’s third largest church.

We had dinner reservations at the famed Joe Beef, so took the train to Le Sud Oest and eagerly awaited our next meal. Joe Beef has earned the reputation for being one of Canada’s best restaurants, and Anthony Bourdain has even sung its praises. Still, we didn’t know what to make of the place when we were seated and told that Joe Beef does not offer menus. Instead, the menu (and by menu I mean chalkboard menu on the other side of the restaurant in the dark) would be read and translated to us from French by our waiter.

Listen. Our waiter was a trooper for going through the entire menu and laboriously translated each and every thing. But my memory can only go so far and the next thing we knew we were eating a plate of sliced ham covered in a mayonnaisey sauce wondering what had happened. Next came our entrees: Nishan’s a plate of venison and mine duck sausages with egg. (The duck sausages were pretty good.) Without a menu and not enough lighting to document the experience, the details escape me. I wish I loved Joe Beef as much as the rest of the food world does, but hey, at least their bathroom includes a taxidermied buffalo.

Joe Beef

New Orleans, Days Five, Six, and Seven

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At this point in our trip, I figured if you’re going to eat unhealthily, you may as well go all out. And so our group headed to Jacques Imo’s for dinner. Jacques Imo’s is part dive, part chic, part Creole, and part imagination. The dishes are like Willy Wonka for the New Orleanian soul. Naturally, we started with the alligator sausage cheesecake.

Alligator sausage cheesecake

Despite the name, this “cheesecake” tastes more like a quiche and the alligator tasted well, kind of like chicken. (Or frog. You know, that chicken-y, vaguely seafood-y taste.) Flecked with shrimp and bound together with copious amounts of butter and cheese, one slice was more than enough.

Godzilla meets fried tomatoes

I ordered the frighteningly-named Godzilla meets fried tomatoes as my entree. What the hell is that? You might ask. It’s a deep-fried soft shell crab, served on top of a pile of fried green tomatoes and eggplant. Oh, and it’s served with a knife sticking straight out of the crab. This dish wins at presentation and despite it being incredibly rich (are you noticing a trend here?), it was pretty tasty. I love soft-shell crab, served like a crime scene or not.

I woke up the next day needing something a bit lighter for lunch, so we headed towards the trendy Magazine Street for a bite.

Sucre

We stopped at Sucre, a beautiful, sleek ice cream, macarons, and chocolate shop serving some of the prettiest desserts I’ve ever seen. I kept things simple with a creamy coconut-basil sorbet, perfect for countering the southern humidity.

Afterwards, we walked to the Mayan Import Company and bought a few Cohiba cigars, perfect for evening porch-lounging and whiskey-swilling.

Cigar shop

Before we headed back, we stopped at Joey K’s for dinner.

Shrimp remoulade salad

Gumbo

I needed something vaguely healthy, so I ordered a shrimp remoulade salad and gumbo. The shrimp was deep-fried but hey, lettuce! The gumbo was my only real disappointment; it was too salty and lacked depth of flavor. Still, not much beats balmy outdoor seating on a warm southern night.

We continued our outdoor theme when we arrived to the flat we were staying at. We lit our Cohibas, mixed a few Jack and Cokes, and waxed poetic well into the night.

The next day, we woke up late and lazily strolled around the neighborhood, paying a visit to the beautiful Audobon Park before returning to pack our luggage in preparation for our return flights the next day. We grabbed dinner at the Camellia Grill: fried chicken and French fries with a side of coleslaw and chocolate pecan pie to wash it all down. Our trip was almost over, and it’d be futile to try to start eating healthy now. Another porch-lit evening followed and on the last day, we grabbed our bags and headed to the airport, knowing that New Orleans had changed us — and I don’t mean just our waistlines. We said our goodbyes, with one of us headed towards Alberta and the rest back to the West Coast. Next stop: Canada. Any country that invented poutine is a fine country indeed.

New Orleans, Days Three and Four

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My trip to NOLA quickly became characterized by late nights and even later mornings. Breakfast was optional and on our third day, my first meal was an afternoon plate of crawfish etouffee.

Crawfish etouffee

The name of the French Quarter restaurant where I ate this escapes me now, but oh man, was this rich. Etouffee is a creole dish that’s made of shellfish, highly seasoned, thicker than a stew, and served with rice. I tried, but I couldn’t finish my plate. Afterward, we walked it off along the Mississippi River.

No trip to the French Quarter is complete without a visit to the infamous Cafe Du Monde, and instead of dinner, our group headed to the cafe for beignets and cafe au lait.

Beignets

Napkins are not optional here and you will make a mess. It’s worth it, though, and what better to wash down these fluffy, sweet, ethereal beignets than with milky coffee? We walked out in a sugar-induced stupor, high on junk food and wanting more.

Bourbon Street pizza

Naturally, we went towards Bourbon Street, home of spring breaking frat boys, neon slushy hurricanes, and questionable pizzas kept warm under fluorescent lighting. I’ll have one slice of mystery meat pizza, please.

My pizza tasted like regret and loathing, but I washed it down with rum and all was good in the world again.

Speaking of rum, our group headed to the Garden District’s Rum House the next day for lunch. The Garden District was a breath of fresh air from the tourist-flanked French Quarter, and we took in the quiet(er) surroundings on Rum House’s outdoor picnic seating.

Tacos, collard greens, and a patty

I had a plate of “tacos” (note to the uninitiated: these are not your standard Mexican tacos), collard greens, and a patty. If you think these items don’t typically go together, you’re right, they don’t. My tacos were tasty, but the patty left a lot of flavor to be desired. The collard greens made me crave gumbo. Still, the ambiance at Rum House couldn’t be beat.

Later that night we headed towards Parkway Bakery & Tavern for purportedly one of the best po’ boys in town. My heart wanted a fried oyster po’boy, but I ordered a catfish po’ boy instead, because I hear having to use your epi-pen on vacation is kind of a bummer.

Catfish po' boy

This baby was messy, especially with all the Crystal hot sauce I poured all over it. The catfish was greasy, flaky, and spicy. In other words, just right. After four days in New Orleans, I was beginning to realize this was no country for health food.

New Orleans, Days One and Two

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Po’ boys. Sazeracs. Gumbo. Oysters. Wait, scratch that. No oysters. After an unfortunate bout with oysters on the half shell last year, I learned that I’m now allergic to my favorite shellfish. And so I found myself in New Orleans a few months ago for a friend’s sister’s wedding, oyster shacks taunting me at every other corner, unable to imbibe on their sweet, salty nectar.

No matter. New Orleans is a culinary and cultural force to be reckoned with, and our group set out to tackle the city. My first day in NOLA was spent lolling around in the sun in the French Quarter’s beautiful Jackson Square. Designed after Paris’ Place des Vosges in the 1800s, it’s a host to live music, impromptu concerts, and a smattering of fortune tellers.
French Quarter

We woke up late on our second day in New Orleans, and after a late night out, we needed fuel. Off to Central Grocery we went for a sandwich.

Muffuletta

Ladies and gentlemen, this isn’t any old sandwich. This is a muffuletta, and perhaps the world’s greatest. Picture Sicilian sesame bread covered with layers of marinated olive salad, capicola, mortadella, salami, pepperoni, ham, Swiss cheese, and provolone. Now picture being able to only eat a quarter of it. The remaining three-quarters would make for a great post-wedding midnight snack.

Best. Midnight. Snack. Ever.

Bangkok Noodles

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What’s a no-frills and super authentic Thai restaurant doing in the heart of Union Square? I would have never thought to try out Bangkok Noodles until after a night of outfit hunting, I found myself ravenous. Located on the busiest block of Powell Street, I sat down with my dining companions Karen and Anoop and we quickly ordered, with the smell of garlic, shallots, and spicy broth permeating the air.

Seafood noodle soup

My seafood noodle soup did not disappoint. Flecked with loads of fried shallots and topped with fresh herbs, I added a couple of drops of chili sauce and went to town. This dish had just the right ratio of seafood to chewy noodles, and the warm broth was what I needed on a rainy San Francisco evening. Bangkok Noodles has non-noodle dishes on the menu too, but why deviate from a good thing?

Bangkok Noodles is cash-only and the wait can be long, but it’s worth it, especially in Union Square, where quick and good eats can be hard to come by.